I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize