and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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