she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize