So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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