you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize