Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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