Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize