Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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