I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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