It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
A bitchslap is in order.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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