the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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