i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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