This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize