Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So vagazzling was a success
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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