3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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