Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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