I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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