Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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