I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize