My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize