Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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