You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize