Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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