Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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