my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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