We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
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Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
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don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize