Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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