My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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