I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
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how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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