I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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