i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
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cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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