No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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