Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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