that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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