I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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