Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize