I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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