dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
try to milk me bitch
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