I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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