im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize