what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize