The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Someone shattered a urinal.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize