Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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