It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
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I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
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Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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