I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need to align my fucking chakras
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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