the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize