Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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