I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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