I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize