She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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